”The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there” - What nature does and doesn’t do for me

Hiking and outdoor life generally has been getting a lot more "in" the last years, and I guess social media (mainly instagram) play a leading role. There’s so much positive about this and social media also inspires me in so many ways. Then there’s of course the discussion about the negative sides as well (mainly impact on environment). 

More and more I also get the feeling that going outdoors is being depicted as some sort of general cure to getting a better life and finding some sort of inner peace. All the pictures of yoga poses on cliffs at sunset, stories of the benefits of "forest baths", coffee mugs in the tent doors with epic views and so on. 

I am myself part of the outdoors movement on social media, and most people who are outdoors a lot probably just like me like what they do; physical activity makes you feel and function better and nature calms you (at least in comparison to city life). 

All these things are really good, and in my opinion most of them are physical and mental achievements, but they are not actually practising some branch of Eastern philosophy or solving some life issues.

What expectations about nature and outdoor experiences are realistic? As always, I can’t say for anyone else, but for me:

Nature does solve one problem for me, but only one, and that is how I should spend my time off work and out of bed ;) And that problem it solves really good! 

But other than that, nature itself doesn’t do anything to solve my problems. Absolutely nothing! Nothing magical just happens to my problems when I'm outdoors.
Nature does give me a lot of feelings of joy, and also of accomplishment. I wouldn’t be much, if anything really, without it. Maybe standing on the top of a mountain or sitting by the sea watching the sun set at the horizon are at the same time some of the most joyful and tranquil moments of my life. But they are moments of 100% commitment to that moment, which just takes the mind of everything else.

These moments and being out in nature in general makes me a better and happier person, but it's because it adds on positive, not because it removes something negative.

Actually taking responsibility for yourself, doing what you need to do to be able to live with yourself, that’s all hard work! Lots of scrutinising and actually following through! Nature may facilitate the process, but I don't think it can ever do the work for you. 

So, basically if you do go outdoors and you don’t find it to be all what it’s portrayed like in social media, maybe it’s not you that is doing it wrong. There's more to it than that, unfortunately ;)

The quote in the title of this post comes from one of my favorite books ever, Robert M Pirsig’s The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - An Inquiry into Values (from 1974). I first read it in high school and have reread it many times, such a good one! Here are a few more quotes from it, and I really recommend reading the whole book.

”The solutions all are simple - after you have arrived at them. But they're simple only when you know already what they are.”

”It is a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth,' and so it goes away. Puzzling.”

“Dad?"

"What?" A small bird rises from a tree in front of us.

"What should I be when I grow up?"

The bird disappears over a far ridge. I don't know what to say. "Honest," I finally say.” 

“Is it hard?'

Not if you have the right attitudes. Its having the right attitudes that is hard.” 

“We’re in such a hurry most of the time we never get much chance to talk. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it’s all gone.” 

“If someone's ungrateful and you tell him he's ungrateful, okay, you've called him a name. You haven't solved anything.” 

“I argued that physical discomfort is important only when the mood is wrong. Then you fasten on to whatever thing is uncomfortable and call that the cause. But if the mood is right, then physical discomfort doesn't mean much.” 

“The result is rather typical of modern technology, an overall dullness of appearance so depressing that it must be overlaid with a veneer of "style" to make it acceptable. And that, to anyone who is sensitive to romantic Quality, just makes it all the worse.”

“You can reduce your anxiety somewhat by facing the fact that there isn't a mechanic alive who doesn't louse up a job once in a while. The main difference between you and the commercial mechanics is that when they do it you don't hear about it—just pay for it, in additional costs prorated through all your bills. When you make the mistakes yourself, you at least get the benefit of some education.” 

Howto start sleeping outdoors alone - what level of discomfort are you comfortable with?

Every now and then the question of howto begin to sleep outdoors alone pops up. One and a half week ago at one of the tent spots in Lauhanvuori National Park I also had a discussion about this around the campfire in the evening.

The first time I slept alone in a tent NIMBY (not in my back yard :)) was actually in March 2018. I had slept in the tent with company earlier several times and also tested it in winter in my backyard so I felt confident about that. The tent spot was a known place, and I also went there earlier during the day with some firewood (I didn’t own a portable kitchen / gas stove at that time). I was super excited during the day, happy I was finally gonna do it, but I also knew it would be kind of a hard night. I actually had no expectations to enjoy the evening and the night, but I knew I would at least enjoy the morning, making a fire and drinking coffee. And I knew it was something I wanted to learn to enjoy more long-term.

The first time it was mostly about getting through the evening and the night. I went out at about 5 pm so that I could pitch the tent before it got completely dark. I then made a fire and cooked dinner, but at 6 pm I had already eaten and had nothing to do. It’s really easy for me to distract myself with stuff when I’m alone at home, but it’s far more difficult in the forest. I ended up postholing around in the snow, and finally watching something on Netflix on my phone in the sleeping bag. I just didn't feel the slightest bit comfortable with doing nothing at that time.

I don’t think I even slept that much, but damn waking up in the morning and only having to think about coffee, that’s a really good feeling for me.

Still I don’t always sleep well when I’m out with the tent, but I’ve always enjoyed being outdoors anyway. And sometimes even if it feels like I’m awake more than I sleep and that I just turn and turn on the mattress, it’s like the recovery it better outdoors. Sometimes it also takes me about two nights before I start to sleep really well.

I can’t really say for anyone else, but I guess when you want to start sleeping outdoors alone, you have to figure out yourself what level of discomfort you are comfortable with and start there. Take as small or big steps as you need!

If you don't know where to start, here a few things that might be worth considering:

-Get acquainted with the equipment if you aren’t already. Pitch the tent (and test other gear) at home so you feel confident.

-Sleep in your back yard or somewhere close to home, or wherever you feel ok. Knowing that you can escape and go home at any time might make it easier. Sometimes going where you know chances are extremely small that there’ll be other people may be better for your own safety I guess. (Personally I’ve only been in places where I haven’t had to be afraid of people or animals, but that can be a factor sometimes.)

-Check the weather report, maybe you want your first night or nights to be dry and have reasonably temperature and wind conditions, even if it's only your back yard. Or maybe you want bad weather, to test that! :)

-Bringing company may be a good start if sleeping outdoors is completely new. Or have someone you know sleeping in a tent nearby or further away.

-Bring some distractions (books, Netflix etc) and don’t expect to enjoy nature or like sleeping outdoors in the beginning. Maybe you will like it straight away, maybe you won’t - it can feel worth it any way! For me it was definitely getting used to it.
-Analyze your triggers and see if there is something that can help you. I made up this challenge for myself that I would sleep outdoors at least once a month for a year. I did that because I thought I would start to enjoy it after a while, and I sure did (otherwise I wouldn't have kept it up). Maybe there's something that can trigger you too? (Coffee outdoors in the morning? ;))

Nowadays one of the best feelings I know is actually lying down in my tent in the evening after a hiking day. It’s so easy to feel pleased then! I really enjoy going outdoors, with or without company. Sometimes I prefer to go where I reckon there will be other people, sometimes I prefer to go where I know there won’t most likely be anyone else. (My level of adventure is still not that high though and if I know I won’t have phone reception I still always go where I know I there’ll be other people now and then. I’m still going very much in small steps here…)

This far into the year I have less than 10 nights in tents. The intention was to write a little bit about a few of them (most in winter), but the words haven’t really been coming to me and I’m not doing much I’m not enjoying. I also have a few ideas of other aspects of outdoor life I’d like to write about, maybe something else will pop up here soon or maybe it won't ;)

No, the bush didn't grow that big over night. Sometimes finding even enough spots to sleep on is hard... Though with an air mattress it's actually very much possible to put extra clothing under it to even it out or lift the head end!

2018 >> 2019

Min utmaning 2018 var: En natt utomhus per månad.

Jag klarade målet och resultatet till slut blev 21 nätter i tält och en i igloo. Några av de bästa stunderna i mitt liv! Och känslan av utveckling från början till slutet av året lever jag nog lite på ännu!

Samtidigt var det när jag analyserade ganska lätt att komma på vad jag vill förändra för att göra upplevelserna ännu bättre för mig. Så, 2019 blir utmaningen så här:

Inga sociala medier och inget internet när jag är ute! Undantag väderappar och norrskensprognoser, samt att det är ok att dela bilder och filmer efteråt.

Tror egentligen inte att jag behöver förklara det beslutet närmare. Jag vill lägga så mycket fokus som möjligt på upplevelsen när jag är ute!